Seeing the Thought, Not Just the Fear: A Metaphor for Parents

When a child shares a terrifying thought—

“What if I poisoned my family?”

“I think I’m evil.”

“I feel like something terrible is going to happen…”

—most parents see the fear, not the thought. And in that panic, they rush to erase, correct, or comfort.

But what if, instead of trying to chase the thought away, we paused and asked:

Where in the mind is this thought coming from?

From Behaviour to Geography

Think of the mind as a house. Most days, your child lives in the main rooms—thoughts come and go, emotions pass through.

But when something becomes too much—too sad, too strange, too shameful—the mind retreats. A door closes. A narrow hallway appears. A claustrum is built: a small, sealed room where repetition gives a sense of control.

The intrusive thought?

It’s often the sound of something knocking from inside that sealed room. Not to cause harm, but to say, “I’m still here.”

What Parents Can Do

Rather than asking “How do I make this stop?”, try asking:

“What kind of space is my child’s mind in right now?”

“Is this thought trying to express something they don’t yet have words for?”

Then say:

“It’s okay—we don’t have to open that door all at once.”

“I’ll stay with you, even if you’re in a part of your mind that feels scary.”

You don’t need to interpret. You don’t need to fix.

You just need to be present in the same architecture as your child.

Final Thought

Intrusive thoughts are not proof that something is broken. They are signals from an inner world trying—awkwardly, painfully—to communicate.

When you listen for where the thought comes from, not just what it says, you offer your child the most healing thing of all: the feeling that someone is nearby in the same house.

And with that, the door may not need to stay locked.