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Too much video gaming?

Writer's picture: marcuslewtonmarcuslewton

Many parents today are concerned about the amount of time their children spend gaming. It's a common worry, especially as video games have become a prominent part of childhood and adolescent life. The conversation often centers around the potential negative impacts of excessive screen time—loss of focus, declining social skills, and even a disconnection from reality. But the reality of gaming is more complex, and in some cases, surprisingly positive.


In recent years, gaming has evolved into much more than a solitary, sedentary pastime. It has become a professional e-sport, where players compete in global tournaments and make a career out of their skills. But perhaps more importantly, gaming has emerged as a highly social activity. Multiplayer games and online communities provide children and adolescents with a space to connect, collaborate, and build friendships with peers across the world. For many neurodivergent children, whose social interactions in traditional settings may be challenging, gaming is often the one activity that lights them up, making them feel understood and engaged.


Parents of neurodivergent children, in particular, have shared with me how gaming keeps their kids happy and animated. For these children, the structured rules and clear objectives of video games offer comfort, while the virtual world allows them to express themselves in ways they might struggle with in face-to-face interactions. This is a powerful testament to the positive impact that gaming can have on a child’s emotional well-being.


That said, we still need to ask the question: **How much gaming is too much?**


It's not an easy question to answer. Each child is different, and the balance between gaming and other aspects of life varies. While gaming can provide connection and joy, there’s also the risk of overreliance on it as an escape. This brings me to the concept of a "psychic retreat."


A psychic retreat—while it may sound mystical—is actually a psychological term referring to a mental or emotional space someone withdraws into to avoid contact with the outside world. In this space, difficult emotions or overwhelming social interactions are avoided. For children and adolescents who find the real world confusing, anxiety-inducing, or overstimulating, gaming can become a refuge. It provides them with control, predictability, and a sense of accomplishment that the real world sometimes lacks.


But is this necessarily a bad thing? On the surface, escaping into a game may seem problematic. However, in moderation, gaming can serve as a healthy psychic retreat. It allows children to recharge emotionally and mentally. Just as adults might turn to a favorite TV show, book, or hobby to unwind, children may turn to gaming to decompress.


The key is balance. When gaming becomes the only or primary way a child copes with their emotions or avoids real-world problems, it’s worth examining. But if it serves as one of many outlets for emotional expression, self-regulation, or social connection, then gaming can be part of a well-rounded emotional landscape.


So, how can parents and caregivers navigate this delicate balance? Here are a few guiding thoughts:


1. Observe Behavior: Pay attention to how gaming fits into your child’s life. Is it the only thing that makes them happy, or is it one of many activities they enjoy? Do they use gaming as a way to avoid problems, or do they return from the virtual world ready to engage with the real one?


2. Encourage Variety: Ensure that gaming is balanced with other forms of play and creativity. Encourage outdoor activities, hobbies, or social gatherings that provide different kinds of emotional fulfillment.


3. Open Communication:Talk to your child about why they enjoy gaming. Understanding the emotional needs it fulfills can help you support them in a more holistic way.


4. Set Limits Together; Rather than imposing strict rules, work with your child to establish healthy gaming habits. This helps them understand balance and develop self-regulation skills that will serve them into adulthood.


In the end, the question of whether gaming is too much isn’t about a fixed number of hours or the types of games played. It’s about the relationship the child has with gaming and how it fits into their broader emotional and social lives. In some cases, gaming can be a lifeline, a source of joy, and a valuable psychic retreat. The goal is to ensure that it remains a healthy and supportive part of a larger, well-rounded lifestyle.


By fostering a healthy relationship with gaming, we can help children and adolescents—whether neurodivergent or neurotypical—thrive emotionally, socially, and mentally.

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