I am out of touch with adolescents. In a way, I am expected to be. Whilst there are, of course, many psychological and developmental generalisations that can be made, being an adolescent today compared to when I was an adolescent, or even an adolescent less than 10 years ago, is markedly different. As I’m sure many parents reading this will also feel, adolescents nowadays seem like a whole new world.
I will share four key themes I’ve noticed, and perhaps this will help other parents think about ways of being more aware of the adolescent world.
Firstly, and perhaps most obviously, we are dealing with a world of hyperconnectivity. Adolescents have multiple selves that expand beyond the day-to-day concrete world into the digital world. Think about how, as individuals, we tend to act and respond differently depending on where and with whom we are. For example, we are different with our boss compared to our work colleagues and friends. Now, adolescents nowadays have an extension of identities across different social media platforms. They curate an image of themselves on TikTok, YouTube, etc., which may reflect their “preferred self”. This self is emotionally invested in, and it can almost feel that their digital self is more important than their actual self. Adolescents may go above and beyond to protect this identity more so than they would their actual self. This then leads to challenges of authenticity and establishing a true identity.
Secondly, cultural changes around gender, sexuality, and identity politics have significantly influenced how adolescents see the world. There is now a more fluid understanding of these identity variables, which contrasts with the traditional, more rigid definitions that previous generations are used to. This fluidity encourages people to explore and express a wider range of identities, but also creates new anxieties around belonging and authenticity, as individuals navigate these changes. As parents and clinicians, we may feel a strong mix of emotions about these evolving identities—struggling with a conflict of whether this is progressive or too overwhelmingly confusing.
Thirdly, the perspective and relationship adolescents have towards societal structures and authority is very different. For example, traditional structures of authority, like family and school, have less influence over adolescents today compared to previous generations. Adolescents are more likely to question these structures and seek alternative sources of meaning, which can sometimes lead to a lack of guidance or a prolonged search for identity. On the other hand, of course, it can be perceived as empowering to see rigid and inflexible structures, which have stood the test of time, being challenged.
Finally, the rise in awareness about mental health issues among adolescents is accompanied by increased rates of anxiety, depression, and self-harm. The pressures of performance in academics, social life, and even online presence contribute to these concerns, making adolescence an even more turbulent period than before. Whilst older generations may disagree with this and see current generations as “too soft”, there is undeniably a lot more pressure to perform and obtain a status or identity than before. Just a brief example—consider bullying. Previous generations experienced it at school and sometimes in the community; yet, nowadays, bullying continues via social platforms to the point that the young person cannot escape the abuse.
I hope this brief post has provided some insight or food for thought about some of the more contemporary subjective realities adolescents have to navigate.
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