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Should I be encouraging my teen for professional help?

Writer's picture: marcuslewtonmarcuslewton


As a clinical psychologist, I understand that deciding whether to encourage your adolescent to seek psychological support can be a challenging and, at times, overwhelming question. Parents, it's essential to remember that this is not an easy decision, and not automatically knowing what to do doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. Adolescence is a complex period for both teens and their parents. Below are a few pointers to help guide you in this important decision-making process.


1. Acknowledge the Complexity of Adolescence


Adolescence is a time of profound change. It's a period where teens are figuring out their identity and learning how to find what I often refer to as the “optimal distance” from parents. This delicate balance often swings between dependency and independency, and these shifts can bring a whirlwind of raw and conflicting emotions. As a parent, it’s helpful to remind yourself that these fluctuations are a normal part of development. They are not a reflection of poor parenting or a sign that something is inherently wrong with your child. Finding that balance takes time, and no two adolescents are alike in how they manage it.


2. Assess the Impact on Daily Functioning


A key factor in determining whether psychological support might be beneficial is to assess how much the presenting issue is affecting your child’s ability to function in everyday life. Ask yourself: *Is this problem preventing them from engaging in activities typical for their age and stage of development?* Some things to consider include:


- Attending school: Is your child regularly missing school or avoiding certain classes or subjects?

- Socialising: Are they withdrawing from friends or avoiding social situations that they previously enjoyed?

- Learning new skills:Are they struggling with tasks they once found manageable, or are they avoiding challenges for fear of failure?

- Responding to feedback or criticism: Are they becoming overly sensitive to criticism, or is their self-esteem taking a noticeable dip?


If these areas of functioning are being impacted, it may indicate that your adolescent could benefit from additional support.


3. Gauge Their Level of Distress


One of the most crucial aspects to consider is whether your adolescent is genuinely distressed by their problem. It’s essential that they feel the need for support themselves, as this internal motivation is a key factor in the success of psychological treatment. If your teen is showing signs of emotional distress—whether that be anxiety, depression, irritability, or withdrawal—it’s worth exploring these feelings further. Keep in mind, though, that adolescents may not always verbalise their distress in a straightforward way. You might observe it more through their behaviour or mood changes.


4. Normalise the Conversation About Mental Health


Finally, it’s important to foster an open and non-judgemental environment where mental health is regularly discussed. Adolescents may be hesitant to seek psychological support if they feel that there is something “wrong” with them. By normalising the conversation and emphasising that seeking help is a healthy and proactive step, you can help reduce the stigma that they might feel. Sometimes, all a teen needs is reassurance that it’s okay to ask for help.


In Conclusion: There's No One-Size-Fits-All Answer


Every adolescent is unique, and so is every family’s situation. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers immediately. Take the time to observe, listen, and have open conversations with your teen. If the problem is impacting their daily functioning or causing distress, it may be time to gently suggest the idea of seeking psychological support. And remember, this is not a reflection of failure, but rather a step towards fostering emotional well-being during one of life’s most challenging stages.

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