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Poor Choice of Influencers – The Pressure of Unhealthy Male Role Models

In today's digital world, many adolescents are increasingly drawn to social media influencers, particularly those who promote an aggressive, hyper-masculine lifestyle. These figures often glorify wealth, dominance, and power, promising young men that these qualities are the ultimate markers of success. Unfortunately, many of these role models offer a toxic portrayal of masculinity, encouraging behaviours and values that can be harmful to adolescents' mental and emotional development.


One of the psychoanalytic ideas that can help us understand why adolescents are drawn to these figures is the concept of the “phallic father.” This figure represents authority, power, and control, and adolescents—particularly boys—may feel immense pressure to live up to this idealised image. But in chasing this unattainable lifestyle, many young people experience feelings of inadequacy and failure, which can have serious consequences for their mental health.


The Appeal of Unhealthy Role Models


The allure of male influencers who promote wealth, power, and dominance is undeniable. These figures present an image of success that is, on the surface, very appealing. They often flaunt luxury cars, designer clothes, and large followings, creating the impression that they have it all. For adolescents who are still forming their identity and trying to find their place in the world, these influencers can seem like the ultimate role models.

However, these influencers often promote toxic values. They may demean women, glorify aggressive behaviour, and equate personal worth with material success. Adolescents who look up to these figures can adopt similar attitudes, leading to unhealthy relationships, distorted views of success, and even mental health issues like anxiety and depression.


Psychoanalytic theory offers some insight into why these figures are so compelling. The “phallic father” is a symbolic figure that represents ultimate power and authority. For young men, especially those in adolescence, there is often an unconscious desire to measure up to this ideal. Influencers who embody this image of dominance and control tap into these deep-rooted desires, creating a powerful, albeit unhealthy, attraction.


The Psychoanalytic Perspective: The “Phallic Father”


The concept of the “phallic father” comes from psychoanalytic theory and refers to the symbolic representation of power, control, and authority. During adolescence, young people are particularly vulnerable to the pressures of identity formation. Boys, in particular, may feel a need to measure up to an idealised image of masculinity, one that is often shaped by figures of power, such as fathers or father-like role models.


In the case of toxic male influencers, these individuals often represent an exaggerated version of the “phallic father.” They present themselves as invulnerable, hyper-masculine figures who have everything under control. For adolescents, this can create intense pressure to live up to these ideals, even if they are unrealistic. When young people are unable to achieve this idealised lifestyle, they may feel a deep sense of failure and inadequacy.

The need to align with this symbolic “phallic father” can also lead to internal conflict. On one hand, adolescents may feel drawn to the image of dominance and success that these influencers represent. On the other hand, they may feel conflicted because these values often contradict their own beliefs or experiences. This internal conflict can contribute to feelings of anxiety, self-doubt, and even depression.


The Real-life Consequences for Adolescents


The influence of toxic male role models can have significant real-life consequences for adolescents. Many young people may begin to adopt the values and attitudes promoted by these influencers, which can affect their relationships, school performance, and overall well-being. For example, they may begin to prioritise material success over personal growth or relationships, or they may develop unhealthy views about women and relationships.

The constant comparison to these seemingly “perfect” role models can also lead to feelings of inadequacy. Social media often presents a highly curated, unrealistic view of life, and when young people feel they can’t measure up, they may experience a significant blow to their self-esteem. This can lead to mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and even a sense of emptiness, as the pursuit of material success fails to bring the fulfilment they expected.


What Parents Can Do


As a parent, it can be challenging to counter the influence of toxic role models, especially when they have such a strong presence on social media. However, there are steps you can take to help your adolescent navigate these pressures:


• Encourage Critical Thinking: Help your teen develop the ability to question the messages they receive from influencers. Encourage them to think critically about the authenticity of the lifestyles portrayed and whether these values align with their own.


• Offer Alternative Role Models: Expose your adolescent to a wider range of male role models who embody healthier, more balanced forms of masculinity. This could include figures in your own life, such as family members or mentors, as well as public figures who promote positive values.


• Help Them Find Internal Validation: Psychoanalytic theory emphasises the importance of internal sources of validation. Help your teen understand that their worth isn’t tied to external symbols of success, like wealth or popularity. Encourage them to focus on developing their own sense of identity, based on their values, passions, and relationships.


Conclusion


The pressure on adolescents to conform to the toxic ideals promoted by certain male influencers can be overwhelming. By understanding the psychoanalytic concept of the “phallic father” and recognising the internal conflicts this creates for young men, parents can better support their adolescents in navigating these challenges. Encouraging critical thinking, offering healthier role models, and helping them find internal sources of validation are key strategies for helping adolescents resist the pull of toxic role models and develop a healthier, more balanced sense of self.

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