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How is talking going to help me?

Writer's picture: marcuslewtonmarcuslewton

Many children and young people can be incredibly sceptical of therapy and even completely perplexed by the idea that talking to a complete stranger about their feelings or parts of their life is going to make them feel better. Typical questions I get asked in both independent and NHS practice are:


“How is talking about my feelings going to help me with my mood?”

“Talking isn’t going to help me stop self-harming; it’s just who I am. Why should I even bother talking?”

“Why would talking help?”


When I hear these questions, my first response is always to validate them and be genuinely supportive of such questions being asked. If I have some form of infection or need a medical procedure, I want to know, “How will this antibiotic” or “How will this medical procedure alleviate my problem?” Therapy should be no different—in fact, clinical psychology should be no different. We should be able to provide justifiable explanations for what we do. I’ve often supported young people in attending therapy by talking about neuroscience. Discussions about how therapy is supported by neuroscience—using developmentally appropriate language—can often be very effective.


Let’s start with the basics.


Whenever we have strong feelings that we struggle to manage, such as anger, sadness, guilt, disgust, or rage, that feeling is produced in a part of the brain called the amygdala. The amygdala is the emotional control centre of the brain where such emotions are created. Individuals who struggle with their mental health may experience intense sadness that activates a whole host of physiological sensations, leading to unhelpful behavioural patterns such as withdrawing from others, self-harming, and engaging in poor eating and sleep habits. In therapy, we aim to engage the prefrontal cortex—responsible for reasoning, decision-making, and higher-level cognition. Over time, therapy can help individuals use the prefrontal cortex to understand and manage emotions produced by the amygdala. This process, known as “affect labelling,” allows individuals to recognise the sources of their emotions and develop healthier responses, like going for a walk instead of socially isolating or talking to a friend about feeling left out.


In essence, therapy helps activate the prefrontal cortex, enabling individuals to put words to their feelings—a process called affect labelling. This cognitive processing lessens activity in the amygdala and reduces emotional intensity. “Naming it to tame it” allows patients to be less at the mercy of their emotions.


This therapeutic process not only reduces distress but also shifts reactive behaviour patterns to more reflective and considered responses. Consistent processing over time can strengthen the brain’s emotional modulation capacity, enhancing resilience to future stressors.


There is much more to be said about neuroscience and various psychological interventions, but for now, I wanted to emphasise what can be helpful to know about therapy. It's not merely about "faith"; modern neuroscience supports the efficacy of therapy. This contemporary science, which wasn't available years ago, underscores how therapy is grounded in real, tangible research.

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